How Motherhood Has Changed How I Make Friends

Making Friends as a Mom

We’ve all been there, the first to have kids in your circle of friends…or maybe the last to have kids. You drift away from your previous friend life and start to forge some new friendships. Of course, you still consider previous friends friends, but you don’t see them as often, either because of distance or because of the different stages in life.

I know for me, I need to have friends. If I am stuck inside for days with just my family, who I adore, I get a bit stir crazy. I need to socialize with people outside of the family. They do too!

What’s a mom to do though when it comes to forging new friendships after becoming a mom? Back in college it was so easy to make friends. You were surrounded by peers in the same stage of life as you. Now you are grown up, have a full-time job, plus a family. Who has time to seek out friends like you did in college?

Friends by Category

Your kids’ friends’ moms. These are the easiest to come by and schedule time to hang out with, because, honestly, your kids can entertain each other while you and Johnny’s mom chat, drink wine, stare blankly into space because you can’t remember the last time you got a full nights’ sleep (just me? oops!). This category of friend is critical to surviving mom-life. They are in the same stage of life as you, and probably are dealing with some of the same stuff as you. They make a great sounding board and can offer perspective to help keep you sane. Just make sure you don’t bring all your baggage at once and allow them time to unload some of their own!
Work friends. You spend so much time with your co-workers, you better play nice and make some friends! While these friends might not be in the same stage of life, they can certainly relate to any work-related woes. It’s also nice to head to happy hour after work occasionally.
Neighbors. Now, not everyone loves their neighbors, but we happened to hit the jackpot when we moved into our neighborhood! We frequently have neighborhood happy hours when the weather is nice. Whenever we take walks, there’s a chance we’ll spot friends and end up playing at someone else’s house for a few hours. We even do double dates with some neighbors. Our neighbors are just super-fun, amazing people. They have also come through for us in emergency situations – like the time Marshall thought running with a wooden train track in his mouth was a good idea and we had to go to the ER after he fell. Or that time Adelaide had a freak piece of metal fly into her eye at lunch (it was small, nothing gory, but it did some hurting!). Having a network of friends close by that are willing to help out in a pinch is a critical category of mom friends.
Friends of mom friends. I am always looking to extend my friend circle, so when I have the opportunity to meet friends through friends, I’m excited. Sometimes these friends don’t end up in your core group of people you call and they are more just an acquaintance, but they are still someone you know and feel comfortable around. And sometimes, friends of friends become best friends.

Friends Make the World Better

I highly recommend taking opportunities to connect with as many people as possible. I sometimes find it difficult to go out in group settings, so meeting new people on play dates or hanging out with friends of friends makes it so much easier to chat. And, this adventure in parenting is brutally hard, so it is a lot more fun when there are others joining you on the journey. Travis is amazing and often lets me go out for mom-dates. And he will take time to have dad-dates (though he would never call them that!).

How do you make friends now that you have kids? What category of friend do you find yourself gravitating to the most? Did I miss any friend categories? Plus, don’t forget you can connect with the Winey Parent over on Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram.